None of this is negative, and I happily encourage the social interaction because it is part of how I learned to engage with my world. I can get away with flirting, joking, and certain mannerisms straight men are not allowed, and many women view me as an equal confidant and girlfriend. Even though most people treat me as a person first, we agree that I have slightly different social expectations. My friends, family, coworkers, and those with whom I engage online hold a certain set of expectations for me to happily fulfill as their gay friend. Much of how society views me is structured around media images of gay men, usually originating from “Will and Grace,” “Ellen,” and RuPaul. But by rejecting what LGBT is today, I am expected to forfeit all cultural experiences linking me to the gay community. I grew up with a generation of gay movies, magazines, online chat rooms, musicians and, of course, drag queens. Like most gays my age, I have a set of common social experiences, but I am told I am not entitled to enjoy or appreciate them. At best, I am accused of being ignorant of my history, and at worst I have betrayed my own people while benefiting from their hard work and sacrifice.
My life as it is today-married, equal, and normal-is argued to be the direct result of the activism I shun and criticize. I am often challenged to answer for generally rejecting LGBT activism with the accusation I am taking for granted what my LGBT ancestors fought for.
